Through The Triangle by J Allison

Author:J Allison [Allison, J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-19T23:00:00+00:00

“So you’re feeling better?” I asked, tentatively pressing against her stomach, watching her face as I did to see if it hurt.

“The pain’s gone.” Natalie smiled weakly. “And I feel, I don’t know? Lighter? For having Ben know, although I’m still sad.”

“You lost a child,” I answered seriously. “You won’t just bounce back, you’re going to feel strange about that for a while.”

“I know.” She shuffled further up the bed as I finished my ministrations. “But I thought this would be a relief, I wished for this,” she admitted quietly, humiliated to confess such a dark secret. “You don’t know how many times I wished to lose the child; I guess I got my wish.”

“You didn’t cause this,” I said slowly, sitting in the chair beside the bed, our friendship still so fresh I wasn’t sure how to speak with her about such a delicate subject.

“These things have a way of just happening, for no apparent reason sometimes. Neither you, nor I, could have stopped it.”

“Still.” She looked thoughtful. “I’m not sure now if it’s a blessing or a loss, I don’t know how to feel.”

“Don’t try to feel,” I advised. “Just be whatever you are, whether that’s happy or sad or angry. Don’t try and make yourself feel a certain way. There is no proper way to feel.”

“Ben’s been incredible,” she whispered, her face spreading into a real smile.

“Of course he has, he loves you.”

She raised her dark eyes to meet mine once more. “He does, I should never have doubted how he would feel.”

“He’s a good man.” I wasn’t sure what else to say; I stood and began collecting my things.

“He is.” She was thoughtful, her head cocked to one side as she regarded me in a curious manner.

“Adam’s a good man too,” she put in pointedly.

“Yes. I guess he is,” I answered carefully, unable to shake the feeling that I was treading on thin ice.

“Treat him the way he deserves,” she added, her eyes portraying the warning more strongly than her words. I rearranged my expression carefully, afraid my thoughts were perhaps painted on my face for the world to see.

“I’m beginning to see it,” she added cryptically, narrowing her eyes as if examining me under a microscope, her head cocking even further.

“See what?” Her expression was so intense I grinned, unable to help myself.

“To see what he sees in you,” she finally said, straightening up.

“Thanks,” I answered dryly.

The sun was still rising as I left Natalie’s, signaling the beginning of another day, another day closer to winter, another day closer to when I must leave. I needed to make a plan.

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